Expect the Unexpected


Did you ever notice that it is only when you feel that you are done with something, that you are faced with that very same thing?  Here it is…*BOOM*!!

Wait!  I just finally got past that in my life..really, c’mon!

Oh, well…so, now this THING, this person, this situation, this experience in life that you thought you were done with….here it is hitting you smack dab in the middle of your third eye, and you are saying…nope, been there done that!

Expect the Unexpected!  Because just when you completely don’t even think along the lines that you used to….here it is again….whatever this THING is…it is a part of your BEing…how you got here, who you left behind, or even who carried you.

Hello, again! It looks like #@$%&*, but it is truly a gift.

A few weeks back, I was shown that I would be dealing with some childhood issues (memories) that would come up for me.  They have and I have been very good at seeing it for what it was, is, and will be…just experiences that I have (eventually) used to make my life the best it can be.  Still working on it!  So, no surprise for me to find that the things that I would never have guessed would happen should be suddenly right in front of me!

It’s here, so that means that Source has a reason for me to look at it again.  Yes, it is someone and something from my past that has not been healed, but I thought I had finally made my peace with it, and moved on.

The other part of all of this is, that every interaction is a 2 way street.  There is never only a one-sided exchange.  We get what we get.  Whenever you feel that you are giving more than you are getting…take a quiet look at the situation.  The frustration may be just that you are not seeing what it is you are actually receiving from the interaction.

One thing I do know is that, in a million years, I would of never expected this particular person to contact me in any way, and yet…..

So, what now?  Nothing now.  That’s what.  It’s not mine.  If someone is compelled in some way to contact me, I will allow it.  What am I getting on this level now?  Just the idea that perhaps it is time for this to resolve itself, in some way.  Whatever it is..it is unexpected, but I will not give it more weight than it needs.  I will not add anything to it other than a quiet contemplation of why it is being presented in the first place.  Like I said, it is a gift, perhaps an opportunity to heal something….and perhaps it is just what it is.

The key to any situation that occurs when we are caught off guard is to NOT run with it.  Quiet contemplation first….action or no action follows.  Nothing happens without the action part, but it’s not mine….it’s not my need to complete any action in this place and time.  I did that A LOT previously.  I am busy and busy is good…being busy is good if what you are learning and doing is enjoyable and heart-centered.  I have so much more work to do on myself, I don’t have the time to over-think things anymore…and that is a GOOD thing.

I would have obsessed on the meaning of this small interaction, but I have made peace with this, and honestly, I need to do what is right for myself and whole for my person.  I know that the meaning will be revealed to me, and that I do not need to worry about it.  Which in itself, is the most free I have ever been.  No need to waste any more time worrying about things I have no control over.

No need to spend too much time seeking answers that I don’t need.  I’m happy.  I’m happy in a real way, better than any other way.  I am also tired.  lol….the work I am doing can be draining at times, and I get tired often.  I have to take care of this body if I am going to continue this work.  Rest is something I need in a big way.  So, I take it.  I watched an Abraham-Hicks video on youtube where the channel was about being lazy and how if Source incarnated here….(the part that is not already here), Source would prefer to just do nothing!

We don’t take the time to cultivate what it is we need now.  Instead we focus our attention on the past or in the future, constantly struggling to undo the past, and constantly worried about securing our future.  What about right now? What about this moment.  Are we being today the way we should be:  just being, just living, just enjoying, just loving this gift we have…ourselves and our lives.

Things we need to know and learn will sometimes come up from the past…things we need to realize sometimes set future events in motion.  Without the realization of these things we find ourselves stuck and not moving forward.  I am living today in my moment, not questioning or caring why or what….just being, just being grateful and filled with happiness that I have this moment to be grateful for.  Whatever my past needs to tell me will be revealed through all the time I spend being clear and fulfilled with now.  Whatever future I am creating, it will mirror my contentment with things as they are.  I don’t need to chase any rainbows or hunt down my answers.  I just need to be here and now, for now.

Today is my present, I forgive myself and any other that may have harmed me in the past

The past cannot affect my present

I live in today and I am grateful for

My home, wife, children, granddaughter, my friends Kristy and Brownie, my family and all my really, really good friends who support what it is I do.  I am ready to be here and now, and to allow all good things to flow easily and gently to me.  I am receiving support and acknowledgment from the highest Almighty Source.  I am confident and content, secure and solvent.  I share my abundance with all who are near and dear to me.  My family is ONE collective.

Namaste.

Free me….


“Free me, free me, free me from this world…”

I am here to announce as of Saturday, May 25, 2013 at 3:12 pm EST, the slate has been wiped clean!! What does that mean?? Good question!! I can only tell you that our interpretation (myself and two others present yesterday at a portal opening), is that we are free to build the life we seek. In fact, not only are we free…we are responsible to do so. First, let’s go over a few things….

Building a life of our dreams is completely and totally possible at this time….whatever you want can be built!!

However, there is a catch…always is…we are not building for ourselves….we are building for EVERYONE!! This is the responsibility clause…build it! Build it, but build it with the world in mind, as whatever it is you are building will be what is created in this world NOW!! Be mindful of your thoughts and actions more so now, than ever before. The way is open, but building only for yourself will NOT work!! That is to say….building for just YOURSELF in the fashion of only securing abundance or finances or anything for you and YOU ONLY…will not work. In fact, I believe that not seeing ourselves now as a whole…(not just individuals in a world of many individuals, but to recognize ourselves as truthfully connected to all life…and everything here is life)…will be a huge blow back for the persons who cannot put their best foot forward for the sake of the ALL, the ONE, the Collective. It will not be allowed!

So, lets recap, plain and simple. Take care of yourself first….

Wait a minute…didn’t I just say build for others? Yes! Build YOUR hopes and dreams and fantasies of abundant life, whatever that means to you….for EVERYONE!! In order to do so, you must take care of yourself first. By honoring yourself in a way that most people do not do anymore: plenty of rest, plenty of clean, filtered water (not soda, coffee, sugary juices, frothy beverages…save these for a treat once in awhile), nutrition….(my biggest struggle), quiet and mindful space holding….meditation, reiki, tai chi, nature walks…, a holistic approach to work, family, responsibilities…realize you must be a whole person to build to begin with. It is okay to be a “work in progress”, but BE the work in progress!

We have work to do, my friends! Have you ever wanted a do-over? Have you ever thought…if only I knew then…what I know now…well, that’s okay. Here is your chance!! What do YOU think we should build? What do you think this world should look like….remember you are building for everyone. So, what does the world need? Think deeply, think often and think softly.

(channel)

“Grace, is by means, much more powerful than aggression. Be brave enough to face yourself and your beliefs, your enabling of others to keep their heads in the sand. YOU hold the keys to your desires, it is in your heart and in your hands. It is YOU that holds the life in your hands, creator! The infinite life, a cause for greatness, implementing the design and the will and action of ALL.”

Bring it!

Punk goes Acoustic


I finished watching a video on the Met’s “Punk: Chaos to Couture” extravaganza and I have to admit that I waxed nostalgic for a few moments.  Ahhh…punk where have you gone?

If you could see me, if you could truly see me…you would see ripped jeans, a vintage Ramone’s t-shirt, chucks, tattoos, piercings, and a glaring neon mohawk.  Oh, the days!

That is what I look like inside.  On the outside, I am some of that and the rest of who the public needs to see, and then who I need to see.

Just for the record, I already wrote this blog post once, but I guess it was not exactly what it should be (?) because it did not save.  I thought ehhh!!  I have to write it again, but as I do so….well, I see a bigger picture than just a few minutes ago.

This is not about me, although it started that way, as most of these writings do.  Here on the virtual page we express our experiences, and how they effect our thoughts and feelings in our world.

Today, I am looking at several people, myself included. I see a friend as well as my younger daughter, and I see that the words that will come out here will have weight and purpose.  So, a quick thanks to all that support this endeavor of mine to speak the truth…whatever the truth looks like.

I am 42 y/o, overweight, handi-abled, shaved head, loud and proud Being.   Proud of who I am in this society, but also proud of who I’m not.  I have shifted greatly with this shift and see those around me going through the struggle of shedding their outer layer…so to speak.

“We are in a time of integration.  Integrating many selves into a more “whole” self.  We are many forms in many planes, and exist simultaneously within ourselves.”

*So, for the audience I just want to interject that my blog has been semi-highjacked by Source, so the sudden change of topic (or not) is something I am allowing and accept.  I just wanted the disclaimer that this is channel.

I will continue in this style while typing channeled information.

“Realize that you have come here for a reason, you know that you are recognized as your truth, and that your endeavor to solicit attention to this channel is recognized.  Thank you for not interfering with the flow.  I assume you have taken precautions for the truth and only the truth to manifest within, and I acknowledge adhering to these mandates.  Thank you again for understanding the magnitude of the information and how it must be adapted to the general audience’s view.  No reason to feel shy.  We do not bite.  (laughter)

Realize, once again, that you have been chosen to relay this message, and that it is you who must do so.  Proceed with your original plan to allow testimony to the truth and all will be well.

I know that you are somewhat afraid still of the impact of these words on this audience of yours, but please, rest assured you are given whatever it is you need to accomplish this task.

We appreciate your sincerity and your ability to step aside for the greater good.  Thank you for your patience.

Dear audience thank you for receiving us this day, as I hope it finds you well.  We rejoice in the many who are following this thread and the need you have to discover the truth of yourself as we knew you would.

There are times that have been most difficult, recently, in your world, and you have struggled greatly.  Fear not this presence now that you feel, as it is for your benefit only.  Realize that you are capable of any decision you need to make for yourself and those you care for.  Remember that they are part of the Source itself, and part of the knowledge of BEing, part of the revolution of the whole which has sought to be ONE once more in physical as well as here in the light.  You remember once you had a dream of the many and the many spoke the same.  You are becoming one with your own now, and this is a very intricate process that you benefit from greatly.  This process can be taxing as your physical body stretches to accomodate most of your true essence, and your belief in your own abilities to transform yourself, your life your motivation for living itself!  Be open to the new, as it is your true way.  Do not deceive yourself into believing that you are experiencing these memories for no reason.  All is within you. You ARE the light and the guide as well as the truth, and you will come around again soon…knowing, debating, challenging these changes these beliefs, and insecurities will flare.

Think what you will, but it is futile to remain closed off to Spirit.  What you possess is yourself, nothing more, nothing less.  Open up to it, and you will be greatly surprised at the result.  Shrug off the old, relieve yourself of these burdens.  They are only self-imposed, only brought on by your own misguidance and illusion. You can leave this behind at any time…what will you create with your new abilities?  We are all waiting to see.  I know you can do this!  I am so happy for you and all of us are grateful for the challenges you endure for the greater good.  There is no need to justify your freedom, only acceptance is required.

Thank you again for your permission and your patience.  We are very honored to know you and to keep you in our company. “

That was nice actually, I was not entirely expecting it, but I am also being told to record it in voice.  I guess it is time, as I have been trying to do this for so long, and having difficulty doing so.  Amazing really.  This ride of ours gets better and better…please feel free to come along!!

The Comfortable Truth


What does it take for one to be comfortable within their own skin.  Confidence?  Reassurance?  Pride?  Parental affirmation? Peer acknowledgement?  Peace with our God/dess?  Love from our muse?

BEing is being comfortable with everything, within, without….the expression of love is where we reside.  How is this accomplished?  It is a lifetime journey that ebbs and waves, and presents challenges to this comfortable feeling all along the way.  Why?  Why can’t we just find bliss and stay there.  Why must we continue seeking the silver chain attached to this miracle?

We don’t.  We have choices, we have free will, we have much to learn about who we are, and if we don’t want to walk the walk, we don’t have to.  We can stay in our own self-imposed prison, we can beat ourselves up, cry ourselves to sleep, wear “Life is Crap” T-shirts (I used to do that all the time ;)….before I became an inspirational speaker…eh hemm..).  Okay, moving forward….

Recently, I almost gave up…in fact, maybe that was only a few sentences ago.  Instead, I am going to write here to tell you to NOT give up on yourself!  There will be days like this…there will be weeks like this…there may even be years like this…, and we have all been there.

I think there are many ways of looking at things, some may believe their “mentor” should be flawless or better yet, a martyr…We get that in God, don’t we?  The infallible Godhead, the martyred child.  I am not God, but I am, but I’m not, but I am….and so are you.  If we are fashioned as man in the form of God….then so god must be flawed.  No?  Why not?

If God were flawed, we could not give ourselves over to him, or put it in his hands, or blindly be lead with no responsibility to our own selves or each other.  God is Mighty, All-Knowing, All-Seeing.  We shall not question, for it is not ours to question, but to follow.

Sorry, I am going to say it: W-R-O-N-G!!  Okay, okay…..I hear you.  You need this.  You need to be PERFECT in his eyes, so that you may enter the pearly gates some day.  Rain check, please!! That my friends, is setting yourself up for complete and total failure.  And, if you fail….you will keep coming back to redeem yourself…keep putting the money into the basket….keep confessing how horrible you are….keep atoning for the very purpose you were born for.

Hmmm?  What you talkin’ bout, Willis??  No, I am not saying run wildly through society with utter abandonment for rules, regulations, and personal safety to all.  This is not a free ticket to kill your neighbor, or your neighbors cat, or do anything heinous to anyone or any living thing.  Do I need to high-light this?…Okay…Do not be an idiot.  Enough said.

Frankly, you are here for your own personal experiences that you as spirit, the collective Source, the God-spark,the light have chosen.  I have done the same.  I have come here, cocky and self-assured.  When I got here, I don’t think I knew just how hard it would be.  I spent many, many years suffering through it.  The choice is always ours.

I know that I could walk away right now…this minute…but I won’t.  I do not mean that I would no longer be here, but that I could change anything I want to right now, but I won’t.  Do I sound convincing enough?  I made a self-imposed oath to Source, the collective, the God-head, myself, the Universe.  I know all I have to do is say NO!  I can change my mind at anytime, but I won’t.

As hard as some days will be, as stressful as all that we are going through, will go through, will build again…will experience, I will not give up.  As much as I want to sometimes give up, give in, crawl under a rock…I will struggle until the end…the end of what….I have no idea. All I ask is that you struggle beside me.  Struggle to get out of bed, do your life, do whatever…struggle to write an inspiring poem or letter, or paint something beautiful because you can.  YOU can fill the world with beauty, with art, with self-expression AND be flawed!!  The light does not come from obtaining a place of perfection.  The light comes from the struggle.

Now is the time…the time of the creators, the time of us, the community, the meek, the strong, the heroes, the derelicts, the bold, the blighted, the downtrodden, the bright and the beautiful to step up.  Step up and acknowledge yourself and your truth, even if that is not comfortable.

Violence of the Mind


I have long been drawn to certain books, movies, poetry. Darkness. I preach the light now, but I have been drawn always to the dark. The sting of familiarity, the pain of remembrance, the closeness I have felt to the characters. The deepest pain helped me to release my own. The most raw and open encounters were a mirror to my own expression of the dark pain I hid inside myself.

I am still drawn to certain pieces of dark expression. You may notice this blog includes the dark and light side of myself, as well as life. It’s the expression of the war that sometimes still resides inside me. The war of the wounds v. the light. The light heals, but sometimes I prefer to wait out the day with the blinds closed against my own salvation. I prefer the quiet gloom to the sunny, social vibe. The dark keeps the secrets.

I have many favorite movies I would watch over and over for their dramatic quality and painful moments. The movie Philadelphia was one I would watch to help me alleviate my own feelings of pain. My favorite scene: Tom Hanks listening to beautiful but anguished opera; turning painfully into his own personal dance with death and loss. Tragic and beautiful. The music, the cinematography, the acting. Raw enough to evoke the tears I needed to shed.

Although Philadelphia was not a violent movie per se, the acts upon the character in the movie were acts of hate. The virus that battled the character’s body was insatiable in its quest to end it’s host’s life. It ended in death.

Action films, murder mysteries, tv shows such as: The Vikings, TrueBlood, Dexter, The Americans, Criminal Minds, 48 Hours, Locked Up, American Horror Story, The Killing, The Following, Spartacus….you get the idea. These are my chosen favorites. If you were to watch them you would see much blood, gore and killing. I also like the sci-fi channel, Natgeo, the History channel, cooking shows, and romantic comedies….I hope that helps.

My favorite authors of fiction are: Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Anne Rice, Edgar Allen Poe….again, you get the idea.

My favorite style of music: alternative, punk, emo….I think by now, you get the idea.

If I were to be judged by what I choose to watch, read or study….what would you think? Feel free to fill in the blank.

What is the truth? I grew up in a violent household were drugs and alcohol and abuse were normal ways of being. At a very young age, I was extremely neglected and abused physically, mentally, and sexually. I grew up in pain, in silence, and eventually anger. However, my heart survived. I survived.

I survived, but did not learn to live. I was depressed, melancholy, sometimes suicidal, angry, and afraid of everyone, and almost everything. It has taken years of conventional therapy, many therapists, and 4 years of an extremely painful physical disorder to help me see light. It is the work I do with energy, and my ability to help others that has given me my life back. I can honestly say that only 1 of the many therapists I have had since the age of 14 has been any help. When I reached her, I was distraught with pain and confusion over what was happening to my body. She felt it was unimportant and detrimental to my well-being to re-live any trauma, and began teaching me relaxation techniques for my mind and body. She followed me through my experience of awakening to the light, and acknowledged my progress along the way until she pronounced: “You don’t need me.”

Has violence in television, movies, and books ever made me violent? No. Was the true violence inflicted on me damaging to my sense of self, my ability to express myself, my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. Yes. I am not just a survivor; I was once a victim. I also carried my victim flag high for all to see.

Now, I suppose I am a survivor, but more, I am a teacher, a counsel, a friend, a loving soul who has healed many wounds within myself, and helps others to learn to heal themselves. It has never been the fiction that has hurt me. Not the movies, the tv shows or poems. The violence came from hands that were meant to be there to love me. Did tv, movies, or books influence the violence that took place in my family. No. The people who were abusive and ill in my family …were sick. I did not carry the abuse down to my children, but I was not a perfect parent. I was a parent who had a lot of fear of the world, and worry about the safety of my own children. I was a fearful parent. I worried excessively over my children. Did this affect them…of course it did. Did I try to hurt them. No. That was the last thing I would want, and yet you cannot hide damage as deep as mine was. Of course, it touched our lives.

Although, I may have used sad movies or stories to release some of my own personal feelings that were locked up inside me….it was through tears and emotion that I shed these feelings. Would another person see these images or hear these tales and resort to violence or abuse to demonstrate their own inner feelings. Yes. I definitely feel there is a relationship to the expression of damaged feelings and damaged relation to images of violence and written word. However, the damage must exist to begin with, the desire to act upon the feelings that already exist. Art imitates life. Does life imitate art? Art is the self expression of a human reality into a fictional reality. We hurt each other when we are hurt or we hurt each other when we cannot feel.

In the television show, Dexter, Dexter Morgan is a serial killer. He was 3 years old when he was locked in a storage container full of his mother’s blood after she had been murdered within his and his slightly older brother’s view. Dexter is adopted by a police man on the scene, who we later find out was having an affair with his mother. At a young age, Dexter’s adoptive father realizes that Dexter is a sociopath and teaches him to kill without being caught. He gives Dexter a code to live by: only kill those that deserve it, other killers, rapists, drug lords, etc. Dexter eventually ponders the thought that if his father had not taught him to kill…. could he have gotten help??

I guess we won’t know….this is the last season of Dexter. He has always been the hero of the story with a “dark passenger” in tow. It will be interesting to see what becomes of him in this last season, but he will be missed.

Dexter is an example of a tv show that could shape a young or sick mind. His character was taught to kill, and cover up the traces, by a law official. Talk about permission.

I can honestly say, I have never killed anyone. I don’t plan on starting anytime soon. I would guess that the risk factor for me to inflict violence on others would be staggeringly high. No thank you.

Today, I seek the light, the knowledge of the new, and exciting day before me… I accept the responsibility of myself, my life and my words and actions. I forgive myself and any other who may have harmed me in the past and I am free. The experiences I have had in my life eventually brought me to the light. The acceptance of myself, the love of myself and others, the ability to share my experiences without shame in my heart, and bring good to the foreground of my life. The dark is on the back burner these days. I find life full of a little bit of everything and I don’t need a butcher knife to express myself. Instead, I choose deep breathing, meditation, and soul searching. I share the truth here. The dark and the light. I’m not afraid of either.

I am still watching the last season of Dexter!

Only Human…


Only Human….

A blog about the trials and tribulations of being an energetic being in a physical body.  About the dark and light of who we are, what we feel, and how we are guided, but sometimes won’t listen.

Expressing the idea that we are ONE collective BEing on Earth and through Source energy communicate with each other on an intense and sacred level.

How I sometimes spin my wheels in place waiting for the next shoe to drop or the next miracle to occur.

A blog about love, light, and peace….a blog about personal doubt and and experience.

 

Only Human…


Have you ever seen the show Being Human?  It’s not the best show, but for some reason I like it.  I’m a bit of a Sci-fi nerd.  I love the idea of something other than human, mostly because I feel so weak as one.  Being human sometimes feels abnormal.  I sometimes wonder what other species could be out there in the Universes.  When I grew up in the 70’s we were taught that there was 1 Universe.  Just one, ours.  Science told us so, and so we believed it so.  Forty-two years later Science tells us there are 100 billion Universes….with the possibility of other life up in the trillions!!  

Trillions. Yes, trillions….I said trillions!!  That is A LOT!

I used to say things such as:  “Honestly, how ridiculous are we to believe that we are the only planet, the only existing planet that holds life?”  I also said:  “If we really believe that we are the only “ONES”, and that we are the highest of intelligent life form, then we have failed miserably.”  Wow!!  I told you this girl had dark!

I honestly have to tell you that some days are darker than others and that I am struggling with that right now.  Struggling with my personal identity and my purpose.  I remain true to my purpose, but feel weak.  I remain guided, but I feel alone.  I remain an instrument of Source, of god, of whatever beautiful energy I have committed myself to.  I still believe.  I have complete faith in Source, and what they see for me.  It is only myself that stands in the way of total surrender.  The total surrender will come and soon.  To be 100% honest, it is only my own fear that is holding me in a state of unknowing.  I KNOW this.  As a human I feel weak.  In energy connected to life, responding to the sacred, accepting this in my heart has made me much stronger.  Yet, I feel weak.

I have strength….not of body, but of will, and I have allowed all that will transpire to transpire, and I feel weak.

I have great friends who call me and have wonderful conversations with me, and light up my entire world….I feel so much better in their presence.  I know what they tell me is true.  I know I can trust their words, just as I know when I cannot trust another.  I know a significant shift and change is happening, and when it is finished that nothing will be the same again.  I am waiting to embrace this change and all changes that come with it for me, and every other person.

Not everyone knows that sometimes the person that gives encouragement, light, and love to others is just as human as they are.  We are only human.  We are allowed to see what we see, hear what we hear, speak what we speak because of a commitment we made to aid and uplift ourselves and others.  This is how I see it.  I always ask for all involved to be uplifted.  The homework that I am giving myself this weekend is to discover why I feel responsible for everything.  Why do I not heed my own truth and take care of myself first as others do?  I encourage my clients to do EXACTLY this.  It is so important.

The “work” we do is not about saving others…it is about giving a hand up, and helping to empower them to be exactly who it is they want to be.  I am no savior!  I am no guru!  I encourage each person to use their innate gifts and free themselves.

Here is the catch.  You do not just do this once.  There is no magic wand.  You must take responsibility for your own personal journey.  Take responsibility for your own life, yourself.

I take responsibility for my own personal journey, I accept that Almighty Source has my best interest. That if I should call, Archangel Michael will walk with me.  I know, I know.. that I will always be taken care of.  I want for nothing.  I trust completely that all that transpires is for the greatest good of all involved, and I appreciate that there are reasons for everything.  I know that all that I have felt through this journey is true and that all that I feel now is also true.  I have been told to take care of myself, to rest, to eat right, to do what it is I need to for myself.  I have ignored that and kept old habits of chasing my tail trying to control the outcome of situations when I know that it is moot.

Being human is okay.  If you really want, you could put on some blue tights and a cape….why not?!  I won’t tell!

Being human can be difficult at times, but that is why we have each other.  We have our network, our friends, our loves, and our families.  We have so much and so many.  We are here for each other.  I like people, I love people….I cherish the connections I have with loving and kind friends.  My strength comes from humility and reverence for life and these experiences.  I am weak at times, and that is okay.  I am weak of body, even sometimes of mind, but I have strength in heart, in spirit, in energy.  I have strength when I need it and when I cannot have strength then someone else is strong for me.  I am lucky to have that in my life now.  I am beginning to feel comfortable with letting others take over for awhile.  To trust and know that others will be there when I cannot fully be there.  Because I have weakness….weakness of anger and doubt and fear….it comes, it goes, it comes, it goes.  It’s not an eruption like PTSD…I have acknowledged that and it has stayed quiet.  Its just a fear of losing control over something, or of not having control over how things change.  Yet, I trust.  I trust enough to be totally honest about my weaknesses, my challenges, my pain.  My peace!  I can achieve this peace….its just doing it.  Owning what it is you need and acquiring it.  Breathing.  Living. Feeling. Experiencing. Being. It takes a lifetime of practice and guts.  To stand up to yourself for yourself. To acknowledge you are the only one responsible for all that you touch.

Heavy, I know.  However, it doesn’t have to be.  It is only our own selves that cause the suffering we feel.  The loneliness and loss.  The isolation, the inability to connect out of fear. It’s only our fear, our illusions about ourselves and our lives that keep us here.  The house of mirrors.  Let’s get outta here!  Become aware, become awake, shake off the illusions of fear and defeat.  Stand up, rise up, get up!!!  Let’s get outta here!!!  Are you with me?