Our Secret Tragedy…


Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver, British Columbia, hotel room on Saturday, July 13. The actor, who played heartthrob Finn Hudson on “Glee,” was 31 years old. The cause of death is not yet known, but Vancouver police ruled out foul play. An autopsy will be performed on Monday. Look back at Monteith’s recent years in photos.

From CNN Entertainment  article by  Steve Almasy

There is only one way to describe this occasion….tragic.  Many “celebrities” have succumbed to the temptation and overwhelming availability of drugs and alcohol over the years.  It is a well known fact that many young actors, musicians and vocalists have died due to the addiction that began when fame took over.

Cory Monteith was a struggling addict who recently entered rehab, and was found dead in his hotel room on Saturday.  It is not yet known how the actor died.  However, I am sure there is speculation to his past drug use and/or the effects that it has had on his physical self.

It is not usual that I am so moved by the death of a celebrity, but here and now, I am moved to the sadness of this tragic event.  I watch the tv show “Glee”, with my wife and had grown quite fond of the character Finn Hudson, which was played by Cory Monteith.  My wife is a true romantic at heart, and it pleased her that there was a real life romance between Monteith and his counterpart Lea Michele.  I guess I got caught up in it myself.

In all honesty, the truth of the matter is that I felt he was a genuine person.  Sometimes it feels as if you can “just tell” that here is someone you would like to know in your life.  I have none of the celebrity enthusiasm that most people do.  In fact, I am often put off by the lifestyle and pseudo glamor of over-paid persons doing a job.  How, in some circumstance,  they begin to believe their own fiction/illusion that was created for them.  I think I would refuse an invitation to meet most celebrities.  However, there are some people that stick out in your mind.  You see something in them, something familiar.  You can see that they put themselves into their work, they are grateful for what they have, and they trigger something that feels good inside you.  That is when you know that someone is true, real….not just the imagined fiction. Your gut tells you.

We see celebrities as characters on a show, or acting on stage….we don’t truly know them or understand them, we just look at their character and see if we can resonate with that…often forgetting that there is a human being behind the acting.

Cory Monteith admittedly began using drugs at the age of 13, entered rehab at age 19, and just recently this past April 2013, completed rehab after voluntarily putting himself back in the program.

Addiction is not a game, it is not an illness that is easy to conquer, and once addicted….always addicted.  There is never just one time for an addict.  Once is all it takes to spiral a well-made and “survived” life into a long-term tail spin.  I do not know if this tragic death was drug related.  I know through the media we will soon know, however….isn’t it something that we have already decided?  Won’t his legacy be tarnished by his history no matter how it is reported?  Or perhaps something good and honest will come of it.

My mind goes to Lea Michele, not her character Rachel Berry, but the woman who loves him, and how horrifying this time must be for her.  My mind goes to his family, who staged the intervention that got him to rehab at age 19, and especially to the sober man who fought and lost.  However this man, (this celebrity, this actor, musician, singer, loved one, son, brother, and lover) passed on….I hope it was gentle.  I hope it was kind.  I hope you were met with grace and love as you should be, not just because you deserve it, but because we all do.

Just posting the blog “Crossing the Line” was addressing how I would feel at a similar loss, and I cannot imagine the grief that is being felt at this time.  He has inspired me, through his ability to show us a loving and naive character struggling with life and love. Bless you Finn, and thank you Cory Monteith.  You will be missed.

Punk goes Acoustic


I finished watching a video on the Met’s “Punk: Chaos to Couture” extravaganza and I have to admit that I waxed nostalgic for a few moments.  Ahhh…punk where have you gone?

If you could see me, if you could truly see me…you would see ripped jeans, a vintage Ramone’s t-shirt, chucks, tattoos, piercings, and a glaring neon mohawk.  Oh, the days!

That is what I look like inside.  On the outside, I am some of that and the rest of who the public needs to see, and then who I need to see.

Just for the record, I already wrote this blog post once, but I guess it was not exactly what it should be (?) because it did not save.  I thought ehhh!!  I have to write it again, but as I do so….well, I see a bigger picture than just a few minutes ago.

This is not about me, although it started that way, as most of these writings do.  Here on the virtual page we express our experiences, and how they effect our thoughts and feelings in our world.

Today, I am looking at several people, myself included. I see a friend as well as my younger daughter, and I see that the words that will come out here will have weight and purpose.  So, a quick thanks to all that support this endeavor of mine to speak the truth…whatever the truth looks like.

I am 42 y/o, overweight, handi-abled, shaved head, loud and proud Being.   Proud of who I am in this society, but also proud of who I’m not.  I have shifted greatly with this shift and see those around me going through the struggle of shedding their outer layer…so to speak.

“We are in a time of integration.  Integrating many selves into a more “whole” self.  We are many forms in many planes, and exist simultaneously within ourselves.”

*So, for the audience I just want to interject that my blog has been semi-highjacked by Source, so the sudden change of topic (or not) is something I am allowing and accept.  I just wanted the disclaimer that this is channel.

I will continue in this style while typing channeled information.

“Realize that you have come here for a reason, you know that you are recognized as your truth, and that your endeavor to solicit attention to this channel is recognized.  Thank you for not interfering with the flow.  I assume you have taken precautions for the truth and only the truth to manifest within, and I acknowledge adhering to these mandates.  Thank you again for understanding the magnitude of the information and how it must be adapted to the general audience’s view.  No reason to feel shy.  We do not bite.  (laughter)

Realize, once again, that you have been chosen to relay this message, and that it is you who must do so.  Proceed with your original plan to allow testimony to the truth and all will be well.

I know that you are somewhat afraid still of the impact of these words on this audience of yours, but please, rest assured you are given whatever it is you need to accomplish this task.

We appreciate your sincerity and your ability to step aside for the greater good.  Thank you for your patience.

Dear audience thank you for receiving us this day, as I hope it finds you well.  We rejoice in the many who are following this thread and the need you have to discover the truth of yourself as we knew you would.

There are times that have been most difficult, recently, in your world, and you have struggled greatly.  Fear not this presence now that you feel, as it is for your benefit only.  Realize that you are capable of any decision you need to make for yourself and those you care for.  Remember that they are part of the Source itself, and part of the knowledge of BEing, part of the revolution of the whole which has sought to be ONE once more in physical as well as here in the light.  You remember once you had a dream of the many and the many spoke the same.  You are becoming one with your own now, and this is a very intricate process that you benefit from greatly.  This process can be taxing as your physical body stretches to accomodate most of your true essence, and your belief in your own abilities to transform yourself, your life your motivation for living itself!  Be open to the new, as it is your true way.  Do not deceive yourself into believing that you are experiencing these memories for no reason.  All is within you. You ARE the light and the guide as well as the truth, and you will come around again soon…knowing, debating, challenging these changes these beliefs, and insecurities will flare.

Think what you will, but it is futile to remain closed off to Spirit.  What you possess is yourself, nothing more, nothing less.  Open up to it, and you will be greatly surprised at the result.  Shrug off the old, relieve yourself of these burdens.  They are only self-imposed, only brought on by your own misguidance and illusion. You can leave this behind at any time…what will you create with your new abilities?  We are all waiting to see.  I know you can do this!  I am so happy for you and all of us are grateful for the challenges you endure for the greater good.  There is no need to justify your freedom, only acceptance is required.

Thank you again for your permission and your patience.  We are very honored to know you and to keep you in our company. “

That was nice actually, I was not entirely expecting it, but I am also being told to record it in voice.  I guess it is time, as I have been trying to do this for so long, and having difficulty doing so.  Amazing really.  This ride of ours gets better and better…please feel free to come along!!