Have you ever seen the show Being Human? It’s not the best show, but for some reason I like it. I’m a bit of a Sci-fi nerd. I love the idea of something other than human, mostly because I feel so weak as one. Being human sometimes feels abnormal. I sometimes wonder what other species could be out there in the Universes. When I grew up in the 70’s we were taught that there was 1 Universe. Just one, ours. Science told us so, and so we believed it so. Forty-two years later Science tells us there are 100 billion Universes….with the possibility of other life up in the trillions!!
Trillions. Yes, trillions….I said trillions!! That is A LOT!
I used to say things such as: “Honestly, how ridiculous are we to believe that we are the only planet, the only existing planet that holds life?” I also said: “If we really believe that we are the only “ONES”, and that we are the highest of intelligent life form, then we have failed miserably.” Wow!! I told you this girl had dark!
I honestly have to tell you that some days are darker than others and that I am struggling with that right now. Struggling with my personal identity and my purpose. I remain true to my purpose, but feel weak. I remain guided, but I feel alone. I remain an instrument of Source, of god, of whatever beautiful energy I have committed myself to. I still believe. I have complete faith in Source, and what they see for me. It is only myself that stands in the way of total surrender. The total surrender will come and soon. To be 100% honest, it is only my own fear that is holding me in a state of unknowing. I KNOW this. As a human I feel weak. In energy connected to life, responding to the sacred, accepting this in my heart has made me much stronger. Yet, I feel weak.
I have strength….not of body, but of will, and I have allowed all that will transpire to transpire, and I feel weak.
I have great friends who call me and have wonderful conversations with me, and light up my entire world….I feel so much better in their presence. I know what they tell me is true. I know I can trust their words, just as I know when I cannot trust another. I know a significant shift and change is happening, and when it is finished that nothing will be the same again. I am waiting to embrace this change and all changes that come with it for me, and every other person.
Not everyone knows that sometimes the person that gives encouragement, light, and love to others is just as human as they are. We are only human. We are allowed to see what we see, hear what we hear, speak what we speak because of a commitment we made to aid and uplift ourselves and others. This is how I see it. I always ask for all involved to be uplifted. The homework that I am giving myself this weekend is to discover why I feel responsible for everything. Why do I not heed my own truth and take care of myself first as others do? I encourage my clients to do EXACTLY this. It is so important.
The “work” we do is not about saving others…it is about giving a hand up, and helping to empower them to be exactly who it is they want to be. I am no savior! I am no guru! I encourage each person to use their innate gifts and free themselves.
Here is the catch. You do not just do this once. There is no magic wand. You must take responsibility for your own personal journey. Take responsibility for your own life, yourself.
I take responsibility for my own personal journey, I accept that Almighty Source has my best interest. That if I should call, Archangel Michael will walk with me. I know, I know.. that I will always be taken care of. I want for nothing. I trust completely that all that transpires is for the greatest good of all involved, and I appreciate that there are reasons for everything. I know that all that I have felt through this journey is true and that all that I feel now is also true. I have been told to take care of myself, to rest, to eat right, to do what it is I need to for myself. I have ignored that and kept old habits of chasing my tail trying to control the outcome of situations when I know that it is moot.
Being human is okay. If you really want, you could put on some blue tights and a cape….why not?! I won’t tell!
Being human can be difficult at times, but that is why we have each other. We have our network, our friends, our loves, and our families. We have so much and so many. We are here for each other. I like people, I love people….I cherish the connections I have with loving and kind friends. My strength comes from humility and reverence for life and these experiences. I am weak at times, and that is okay. I am weak of body, even sometimes of mind, but I have strength in heart, in spirit, in energy. I have strength when I need it and when I cannot have strength then someone else is strong for me. I am lucky to have that in my life now. I am beginning to feel comfortable with letting others take over for awhile. To trust and know that others will be there when I cannot fully be there. Because I have weakness….weakness of anger and doubt and fear….it comes, it goes, it comes, it goes. It’s not an eruption like PTSD…I have acknowledged that and it has stayed quiet. Its just a fear of losing control over something, or of not having control over how things change. Yet, I trust. I trust enough to be totally honest about my weaknesses, my challenges, my pain. My peace! I can achieve this peace….its just doing it. Owning what it is you need and acquiring it. Breathing. Living. Feeling. Experiencing. Being. It takes a lifetime of practice and guts. To stand up to yourself for yourself. To acknowledge you are the only one responsible for all that you touch.
Heavy, I know. However, it doesn’t have to be. It is only our own selves that cause the suffering we feel. The loneliness and loss. The isolation, the inability to connect out of fear. It’s only our fear, our illusions about ourselves and our lives that keep us here. The house of mirrors. Let’s get outta here! Become aware, become awake, shake off the illusions of fear and defeat. Stand up, rise up, get up!!! Let’s get outta here!!! Are you with me?